So tomorrow Robert and I will goto the hospital and talk to a genetics specialist. He’s pretty young to have colon cancer, so we need to have some testing done to see if there is something going on genetically speaking. Hospital days are pretty intense. There is alot of waiting and during that waiting, a great deal of mind wandering as well. Our biggest decision as of late, is to decide what kind of chemotherapy we will use for Robert’s treatment. One of the choices involves inserting a port in his collar bone. He’s not a big fan of that particular choice. There is the pill therapy where he orally ingests pills each day for two weeks. Then there is the clinicl trial that he could do, that would involve a port, an extra pill or placebo and the infusion via the port with three years of pills after chemo and six years of follow up. Sooooo, we’re basically confused. Robert is much better at figuring all of this out and he definitely looks to God for the answers. I need a little more time to process before I give it to God fully. I always get a bit nervous before our appointment days.
I about had a panic attack yesterday when the doctor suggested starting chemo that day! Yeah….not so much. I’m sure I’ll hav alot to post tomorrow, but for now, I’ll leave you with this. Sometimes things don’t always go the way you planned them, sometimes things don’t even get close to how you planned them. Sometimes, God has better plans already laid out for us. We just have to wait to see what his plan is and obey Him when he reveals to us what he would have us to do.
Cancer was definitely not in our plans, but the Lord is using this to bring us closer to him and to get us out of our own comfort zones. It’s not fun, it’s not even close to fun, but I see the wisdom of God through it all. He is working our spiritual muscles and making us stronger, evern though, quite frankly, it really hurts at times. But I’m ready to see the spiritual stremgth that will be the result of our trusting God. Don’t get me wrong, I have my moments. There are times that I want to scream, holler and yell. However, at the end of the day, I know God has us in the palm of his hand. Where ever that may lead us, I’m willing to go…