Okay, let’s just face the facts….
There. I said it.
I am a single woman.
I am a single mom.
I am a widow.
Such a strange concept. (Well, at least for someone who was in a great marriage for 16 years…)
To be honest, I don’t always like this newfound singleness. I don’t like not being part of a couple, a twosome, the her of him…. The Gretchen in, “Robert and Gretchen…”
It’s just weird.
What is even weirder is being hit on by men. (And by hit on, I mean flirted with, innuendos abounding…) It makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I’m cheating on my husband.
Which of course is silly, because I am, as I mentioned, a widow, after all. And What is even more weird than being hit on by men; is being hit on by married men. Wanna get weirder? How about a married man who espouses to be a preacher?
Seriously. I don’t get it. It makes my heart hurt. It makes me angry. It makes me sad.
Sad that I’m in this position of being a single person. Mad that any man would disrespect his wife by trying to flirt with another woman, and angry that a man would think because I’m a widow that I would somehow be desperate enough to fall for his despicable flirtatiousness. And then there’s the whole, “Hey, ummm, isn’t it in the Bible that if you’re married you should, umm, act married and if you’re a preacher, you should, umm, act like a true man of God?” (Insert iPhone pic here of the smiley face with wide eyes and open mouth) Smh… (That’s text speak for shake my head… In case you’re wondering…)
I’m a widow.
I’m a single mom.
I get it…
But, those phrases don’t define who I am, because:
I’m a woman of God.
I’m an overcomer (thank you Miss Mandisa)
I’m a lover of God.
I am a new creation in Christ.
I’m not desperate to be loved, because I was loved by my husband;and more importantly, I’m loved by Christ now. While I will admit, I miss those male infused conversations, I’m not dying to experience romance and love at the moment. I’m still very much in love with my husband. The fact that he’s not here has little bearing on my feelings. Don’t get me wrong; I love men. Men are awesome.
I don’t need a man so much that I’m willing to compromise who I am in Christ.
So, no, I won’t send you body shots of myself, or engage in highly inappropriate conversations with anyone that dishonors God… Nor will I hesitate to unfriend you on fb if you disrespect me by sending me messages that you wouldn’t want your wife to discover and read. As a matter of fact, if you’re married, how bout you just don’t send me a friend request; so I won’t have to ignore it. (Lesson learned the hard way)
What’s the moral of this blog?
Don’t compromise who you are for anyone.
Don’t compromise who you are in Christ for anyone.
So lets review.
I am a single mom (devoted to raising my children unto the Lord….)
I am single, (who will not compromise my beliefs as a Christian for a man…)
I am a widow, (who is an overcomer, dedicated to make God proud of the life that I lead without my husband.)
Those are the phrases that I choose to allow to define who I am.
This is who I am.
This is who I will be; despite what is happening around me.
I am, because He Is….
And that’s enough for me.
Dear Mr. Married Pastor Ex-Fb friend,
I’m sorry that I had to unfriend you, well; actually I’m not… But I will pray for you, because pastors, much like Walmarts are not all created equally. If I were you, I’d reevaluate how you’re choosing to conduct yourself. I’m pretty sure flirting with people on Facebook is not pleasing to the Lord or your spouse.
And folks, I’m not being ugly here. This has truly saddened me. I will be praying for him. You can too. God knows his name.